Sunday, March 11, 2012

An Amazing Man

This is a post that has taken me some time to write since I have been trying to figure out the best way to articulate it. I have wonderful parents. In fact, my patriarchal blessing even mentions that I have been blessed with very fine parents. That is extremely true. I love them so much and they have always been my support system. My dad and I have always gotten along well. I think it might be because we are a lot alike in the ways that make it so we don't clash. My dad has always been my hero and there isn't anything he couldn't do. My dad is a super healthy man. He always has been. He is 61 going on 62 and doesn't take any prescription medications. I take more pills than he does. I remember growing up the only time I saw my dad sick was after his first knee surgery. He hurt his knee on his job as a lineman and had to have surgery back in 1988-89. He had an ACL ligament transplant and had a screw put in. Well he had a bad donor ligament and got staff infection. They had to completely redo the whole surgery and he was so sick from the infection. I remember one evening he was so sick and mom called my Grandpa to come give him a blessing. As a child, it was scary for me. I thought my dad was going to die. But he fought it and despite being on crutches and unable to work for about a year, he got better. He has been going strong ever since. The only way you would know he had a problem would be to watch him walk closely especially at night after a busy day. He has always had a slight limp due to the knee damage. Slowly the past year, it has been getting worse. He never complains, but the pain got to be too much so he went to see his doctor, Dr. Goble. He was the one who did all his surgeries years ago. The news wasn't good. Dr. Goble told him that the knee had gotten worse and he was looking at bone on bone and the only option would be for a total knee replacement. My dad does not like to sit around and did not like the idea of such extensive rehab. I think the only reason he did it was because Dr. Goble promised him he would have him back to climbing poles in six months. Since Dr. Goble agreed that the surgery would be 100% related to the previous injury Worker's Comp was going to pay for it. After all the paperwork they make you do and all the red tape, they finally approved the surgery and he had it on President's Day. I waited with my mom in his room while he was in surgery. I tried to distract her as best as I could because she is worrier. After a few hours, Dr. Goble came in and told us that everything went "perfectly". He was in recovery and would be back soon. When he came back from surgery, he was still a little out of it. He took my hand though and then his lip started to quiver and I could sense he was getting emotional which in turn made me emotional. I think a lot was said to each other at that moment without saying a word. If that makes any sense. He knew I loved him and I knew he loved me. It is hard to see someone you love in pain or sick. I am not use to seeing him that way. So vulnerable. I mean my dad is Superman afterall! He doesn't get sick. He doesn't have to stay in hospitals. I think at that moment, I was hit with some serious reality. Just as I am getting older, whether I act it or not, my parents are getting older and they won't be around forever. I know death is a large part of life and the final process for us all, I see it everyday in my job. I just don't like to think about it with my family. Not that my dad is going to die anytime soon. He is doing well and is actually recovering ahead of schedule. More proof that he is Superman :). He is using the cane less and less and getting around pretty good which is nice since he used it mostly to tap us all with anyways :). It just made me start to think about what kind of caregiver I am going to be as my parent's age. I am going to be one of those demanding caregivers that I work with who challenge my patience at times. But I get it, it is your loved one and you will always demand the best for them. I will be there for them as they need me simply because they have done that for me. They have always been there for me. My parents helped me through the darkest and saddest time of my life when I got divorced. I didn't want to keep on going, but they gave me the strength to.  My dad held me and cried with me. His heart was breaking too. He loved my ex, as did all my family, and it was sad and hard for them too. We got through it all together and I know that no matter what might come as they age and get older, I will be there every step of the way. I treasure the time I spend with all of my family. Family is truly what matters.

I went to a viewing tonight for a dear friend that I use to work with that passed away. I so enjoyed the chats I would have with him in my office at work and all the laughs we shared. He spoke often of his family and you knew that was the most important thing to him. I am grateful to have known him and I am also grateful for the gentle reminder that people not things are what matters most. How we treat others and what we say are what matters. Life is too short to worry about the crazy people out there who try to sabotage life. I just need to remember and rely on those around who care and nurture those relationships because in the end that is all that we take with us. Our love is what goes with us when we cross over to the next life. I love my family very much and I am grateful that I was so blessed with them all. Life if precious and it can not be taken for granted. We should all live each day like it's our last and make sure that those around us know how important they are and how much we care.

Thanks to my dad for my being my superhero and for being the amazing person he is.

He made me take a few pictures in the hospital even though I didn't want to, but here are a few of him recuperating and then one of my favorite's of me and him. Love my ma and pa :).
Not long after surgery and totally drugged.
A little more awake and look at that new knee!

On his birthday a few years back.

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