Tuesday, February 28, 2012

A very Lady A Valentine's!

My family and I spent our Valentine's night at the Lady Antebellum concert! We had so much fun. We started it off with some shopping at my favorite store H&M (bought some cute clothes), then a yummy dinner, and then some singing and dancing at the concert. Thompson Square (the "Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not" singers), Darius Rucker (Hootie!), and Lady A. I remember going to the very first concert of theirs when there were just a few hundred people there and their first CD had just come out. Now they are huge and sold out the Energy Solutions Arena. Such a good band live. We had a few dramatic moments at the concert like the girl who threw up in the row in front of us and the two dudes who almost fought next to us, but aside from all that we managed to love the show. I had bought tickets on a pre-sale through the fan club and in order to discourage scalpers from buying the tickets we didn't know exactly where they were going to be until we picked them up at will call. But we were on the 8th row on the floor and they were great seats! We were just right of the stage and the big walkway. Lady A had a dance contest for the whole crowd before the show to win tickets into the pit and Mandy and I had so much fun dancing to LMFAO and Whitney Houston that we didn't even care if we won or who was watching cuz we were shufflin :). I can't think of a group that I would want to spend time with more than my family. I love them so much and we had a wonderful time together. Here are some pictures from the show!

Mandy and Wes before the show.

Mandy and I. I am not sure what caught my eye but it wasn't the camera. I am looking somewhere else but Mandy looks cute :)

The girls at the show.

 Thompson Square!

 Darius Rucker!

 I loved him because he sang a lot of Hootie and the Blowfish songs too.

 Lady A! This would have been an ever more awesome picture if Mandy didn't get her hand in the way. Unfortunately I have a lot of pictures of her hand :).

 This was awesome. There was this cute 3 year old girl that was in the front that they brought up on stage with them to sing one of the songs.

 Jammin with Thompson Square and Darius on stage.

 They certainly "Owned the Night". Loved it.

This picture had absolutely nothing to do with the concert, but I uploaded it at the same time as the other pictures and I loved it. How cute is my sweet little pooch? She's adorable and I love her so much that I had to share it!

Here is some video from the concert and one of my favorite songs "As You Turn Away". Just a little bit of it. I love this song and was so glad that they sang it!

Such a fun night!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Public Displays of Affection

I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day. My family spent ours shopping at H&M in Salt Lake and then a fun night at the Lady Antebellum concert. We had so much fun! It was fun to see all of the super cheesy couples at the concert though with all of their public displays of affection. I mean get a room if you are going to make out like that in public :). I have never been one for public display. I think it is cute when I see a lady put her head on her man's shoulder or I see them hold hands as they walk down the street. I just think that a lot of those outwardly public displays really have less to do with how the people feel about each other and more to do with what they want to portray to others. For example, the man who feels the need to deliver flowers or rather large bouquets of balloons to their woman at her work or school says to me that he is trying to make more of a statement to everyone else rather than to her. It's the quiet little post it note that simply says "I Love You" or the phone message that simply says "I wanted you to know that I love you" that says more to me about people's relationships rather than the huge public display of balloons, candy, and flowers. I think of a friend of mine who had the flu on Valentine's Day and her husband stayed up all night with her to support her in her illness or my brother in law who really didn't want to go shopping with a bunch of women and then to a country concert, but did it because my sister wanted him to and because he loves her. To me, those kinds of acts and those displays of affection speak so much more than any flowers, balloons, or candy ever would. It is the simple and sweet things that people do that make all the difference. Those normal day to day things that let someone know they are special and are cared about. The public stuff can seem fake or that people are trying to convince others or themselves that they are happy when the reality might be the opposite. I think more people should focus on the little things and those quiet little acts that let them know they are loved everyday rather than the big public displays and declarations. Just my opinion and a little food for thought. Let me know what you think about it.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Rough weekend and the power of music

So I know I have talked about trying to get over this sinus infection that I have had for over a month that just keeps hanging on. I had hoped that round 3 of antibiotics was going to be the trick for me and I would start feeling better. Things started to get worse though on Thursday night when I had a fever just before bed. I took some medicine, but had a rough night of sleep. I also had this weird bump on the back of my head that had showed up out of the blue. I felt terrible Friday, but the fever was gone so I figured I could make it through work. I also had to go have another biopsy (#4 I believe) for the abnormal cells that I keep getting on my cervix. Stupid female stuff and I knew I couldn't cancel the appointment. So I made it through both the doctor appointment and work, but was ready to collapse at about 4:00 so I left work a little early. The doctor did tell me the bump on the back of my head was an enlarged lymph node. Odd never had one of those before. Anyway, I got home and then just started to feel worse. I started having the chills, aches, and my fever spiked again. I thought for sure I had the flu. Then about 8:00 that night I started to get hives on my arms. I wondered if I was having a delayed reaction to the antibiotic I was on so I didn't take the night dose. Instacare was already closed so I called one of the nurses that I work with and talked with her about how I was feeling. She told me to get some benadryl and to definitely not take my antibiotic until I could talk to the doctor. I went to bed about 9:45 Friday night because I felt so sick and the benadryl had knocked me out. I had a terrible night and kept getting the chills and then the sweats and I just felt terrible. When I got up Saturday morning the hives had spread all over my body and my face was all swollen up and I looked like a puffed up cherry. So off to instacare I went. The doctor said I was definitely having a severe allergic reaction to my antibiotic. He was deeply concerned because I was short of breath and my respirations were low. He gave me a bunch of steroids and some more benadryl and then waited 30 minutes to see how I did. I still wasn't responding like he hoped so I got an epi shot and then we waited some more. Finally the swelling started to go down and my breathing improved. He sent me home with more steroids and strict instructions to take benadryl for the next two days every four hours. The rash was hideous looking and as you can imagine taking benadryl every few hours made it so I wasn't able to do much of anything all weekend but sleep and lay around in a stupor. So no house work got done this weekend, very little cooking, no church (I missed all my primary munchkins), and poor Peaches has been neglected. Finally today, the rash has seemed to disappear and I am not as itchy. Definitely not a weekend I ever want to redo anytime soon. I never thought I would say that I am ready for a new week to start.

Music has always been very good for my soul and tonight has been no exception. I have had many thoughts watching the Grammy's and seeing Adele do so well. Her album is one of my all time favorites and speaks to my heart and soul. I also find myself being truly touched by the tribute to Whitney Houston and the beautiful rendition that Jennifer Hudson did of her song. I remember growing up to Whitney Houston and she had an amazing voice that will never be forgotten. It is always so tragic when people pass away before it is their time. Music carries such power to it and has always been the best therapy for my soul. I love it and am grateful that there is such beautiful artists like Adele that share their talent with us. I love music. What music speaks to you? 

Monday, February 6, 2012

Safety and the Internet

A lot of great things have come about because of the internet and technology. We are able to communicate with family and friends that live far away, we can access news, research, knowledge, and have a little fun with a good laugh. My family has been blessed by the internet and what youtube has done for my cousins and their families. Shaycarl, the Shaytards, and everyone's individual channels have assisted them with fulfilling their dreams and find what they were meant to do.

But just as the internet and the technology can create great things. It can also create terrible things. There is darkness, pornography, bullying, stalking and just mean things that can affect us deeply. Not just us, but our families too. Where there is light and goodness, there will always exist darkness and evil. I love the internet and use it every single day. I just can't ever imagine using it for the intent to hurt other people, but some individuals out there do.

Just in the last few years, I have experienced first hand the kind of damage that the internet can do. I had someone steal my identity on the internet and use my personal information to sign me up for credit cards with service fees attached to them. I still get junk almost every day in the mail from credit card companies. This was such a petty attempt to hurt my credit or "ruin" me. However, it was also a wake up call to me that not everyone uses the internet for good and will treat you right. With the help of the police, we figured out who the person was and they were held accountable for the choices that were made (quite mercifully in my opinion). The hope that someone can take accountability for their choices and then move on and not hurt me anymore was the only thing I hoped to gain from it. If only it had stopped there, but despite a no contact order in place, this person repeatedly went around secretly doing things to "bother" or "annoy" me on the internet. This person has tried to sign me up for dating services, pretend to be friend's and family with the hopes of gaining information about me, making up fake people and fake email addresses to try and gain information, even to the point of emailing my boss with the hopes of trying to get me in trouble and fired from my job. This person is a coward and hides behind the computer to do the dirty work. Rather than come at me for whatever beef they have, they choose to sit quietly and make me wonder what on earth could possibly happen next.

It honestly does make me paranoid. It makes me wonder what else this person is out there doing that I don't know about. It also drives me absolutely crazy not knowing why this person would even bother to focus so much time worrying about me and my life. Shouldn't you be concerned with your own? Or is your reality just that bad that you can't just be happy with your own choices and your own family? I am sure the goal was to upset me and I am ashamed to say that it worked. I have been quite upset over the last few years by it all. I have lost sleep over it, not felt safe in my home, and not even felt safe to trust my family and friends over the internet. It is like living with a huge rain cloud over your head and you have no umbrella. You are just hoping that the rain doesn't come, but like every rain cloud, eventually the moisture falls. These experiences are the reason why I had to make my other blog private and why I pretty much stopped blogging all together. It is the reason why I check my bank account daily, question everything, and refuse to be friends with anyone I do not know on facebook or any other social media site. I can't trust even people I know since this individual has pretended to be so many.

I hesitated in starting a new blog, but felt like there were some things that I could share with others that might help me and help others learn some things or just share our opinions. I just wanted a creative outlet to express myself. Sometimes that is hard to do when you live alone. Mostly, I wanted to take my life back and feel like it was mine again instead of being hijacked by some cyber bully who doesn't have the guts to face me head on. If you have a problem with me, tell me about it, call me names, and then move on. I don't ask to be included in your life and don't want to be. I just want peace and to be left alone.  It pains me to think about the possiblity that this blog will have to go away too or be made private, but I will do it if need be. Just this week, this person has decided to comment and pretend once again to be someone they aren't. If you want to comment on my blog, do it under your real name or better yet don't even read it.

My hope by sharing this is not to make the person mad enough they will respond in a threatening manner again. I just want it to all go away once and for all. It surely can not make this individual happy to be doing this nor does it make you a better person and lift you up. It does not make you worthy of the goals you want to achieve in this life. Rather it does the opposite. 
Please let this be the end of it. Once and for all. 

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Am I paranoid?

Yesterday at the end of my day, I had the weirdest feeling that I needed to get home. There was just a bad feeling I had, a sense of dread, and that something was wrong. The drive home seemed like forever. As soon as I walked in my place, I had this strange feeling that someone had been there. Being a little OCD, I have always been able to tell when things are out of place so I looked around and went from room to room even checking under things and the closets. Nothing out of place. I am not sure why I had that odd feeling, but it gave me anxiety most of the night and I didn't sleep well last night worrying about what it might be. There have been many times in my life when the spirit has prompted me to do things or has warned me of things, but I have never felt something like this. I was scared and wasn't even sure why. I am starting to wonder if I am just paranoid. There have been things that have happened that make me realize we aren't always safe from the harm of others or ourselves. Bad things happen everyday. It's part of life. I do feel better about things today, but I am still cautious. This whole experience got me thinking about how many of us have felt this way once in our life and have not been sure why. I remember a very vivid and disturbing dream I had about someone special in my life and it ended up being true and altering my life forever. Sometimes we receive promptings, have dreams that come true that we wish didn't, and get bad feelings that something just isn't right. One thing I have learned is that we need to follow these promptings even when we don't know why. How many of you have ever felt this way and thought you were just paranoid like me?