Monday, February 6, 2012

Safety and the Internet

A lot of great things have come about because of the internet and technology. We are able to communicate with family and friends that live far away, we can access news, research, knowledge, and have a little fun with a good laugh. My family has been blessed by the internet and what youtube has done for my cousins and their families. Shaycarl, the Shaytards, and everyone's individual channels have assisted them with fulfilling their dreams and find what they were meant to do.

But just as the internet and the technology can create great things. It can also create terrible things. There is darkness, pornography, bullying, stalking and just mean things that can affect us deeply. Not just us, but our families too. Where there is light and goodness, there will always exist darkness and evil. I love the internet and use it every single day. I just can't ever imagine using it for the intent to hurt other people, but some individuals out there do.

Just in the last few years, I have experienced first hand the kind of damage that the internet can do. I had someone steal my identity on the internet and use my personal information to sign me up for credit cards with service fees attached to them. I still get junk almost every day in the mail from credit card companies. This was such a petty attempt to hurt my credit or "ruin" me. However, it was also a wake up call to me that not everyone uses the internet for good and will treat you right. With the help of the police, we figured out who the person was and they were held accountable for the choices that were made (quite mercifully in my opinion). The hope that someone can take accountability for their choices and then move on and not hurt me anymore was the only thing I hoped to gain from it. If only it had stopped there, but despite a no contact order in place, this person repeatedly went around secretly doing things to "bother" or "annoy" me on the internet. This person has tried to sign me up for dating services, pretend to be friend's and family with the hopes of gaining information about me, making up fake people and fake email addresses to try and gain information, even to the point of emailing my boss with the hopes of trying to get me in trouble and fired from my job. This person is a coward and hides behind the computer to do the dirty work. Rather than come at me for whatever beef they have, they choose to sit quietly and make me wonder what on earth could possibly happen next.

It honestly does make me paranoid. It makes me wonder what else this person is out there doing that I don't know about. It also drives me absolutely crazy not knowing why this person would even bother to focus so much time worrying about me and my life. Shouldn't you be concerned with your own? Or is your reality just that bad that you can't just be happy with your own choices and your own family? I am sure the goal was to upset me and I am ashamed to say that it worked. I have been quite upset over the last few years by it all. I have lost sleep over it, not felt safe in my home, and not even felt safe to trust my family and friends over the internet. It is like living with a huge rain cloud over your head and you have no umbrella. You are just hoping that the rain doesn't come, but like every rain cloud, eventually the moisture falls. These experiences are the reason why I had to make my other blog private and why I pretty much stopped blogging all together. It is the reason why I check my bank account daily, question everything, and refuse to be friends with anyone I do not know on facebook or any other social media site. I can't trust even people I know since this individual has pretended to be so many.

I hesitated in starting a new blog, but felt like there were some things that I could share with others that might help me and help others learn some things or just share our opinions. I just wanted a creative outlet to express myself. Sometimes that is hard to do when you live alone. Mostly, I wanted to take my life back and feel like it was mine again instead of being hijacked by some cyber bully who doesn't have the guts to face me head on. If you have a problem with me, tell me about it, call me names, and then move on. I don't ask to be included in your life and don't want to be. I just want peace and to be left alone.  It pains me to think about the possiblity that this blog will have to go away too or be made private, but I will do it if need be. Just this week, this person has decided to comment and pretend once again to be someone they aren't. If you want to comment on my blog, do it under your real name or better yet don't even read it.

My hope by sharing this is not to make the person mad enough they will respond in a threatening manner again. I just want it to all go away once and for all. It surely can not make this individual happy to be doing this nor does it make you a better person and lift you up. It does not make you worthy of the goals you want to achieve in this life. Rather it does the opposite. 
Please let this be the end of it. Once and for all. 


  1. Sorry you have to go through that! I hope that person doesn't make this blog go away, I enjoy reading it. That person needs a life of their own!

  2. I am reading a great book for school and there are a few great quotes in it that fit your situation... some for the individual who needs to get a life and leave you be, and some for you:

    "Knowing who we intend to be always determines what we will do with our lives."

    "Civility has to do with identifying values as opposed to following fashions. Civility might be defined as an ability to distinguish between what is actually healthy and what merely appears to be living."

    "A rut is little more than a coffin with the ends kicked out."

    "It is best to be the lead dog on a dog sled for three reasons. One, you get to cut the fresh snow, two, you are first to see the new scenery, and three, you're not looking up at a bunch of rear-ends all the time!"

    "I cannot always control how I feel about other people but I certainly am in control of how I behave toward other people."

  3. Thanks Anna and Nikki. I appreciate your support. I just wish it would all be over and done already. Hopefully this ends it.

  4. No one should have to deal with that...especially you! I hope you can get the peace you are entitled to and feel safe and secure again.

  5. You can't go away, I just found you, and besides maybe Bon Jovi reads it too! :)

  6. Well hello Miss beautiful Rachael! How are you? How on earth did you find me? Glad you did :)