Sunday, May 20, 2012

Guitar Recitals and Rugby Games

 Last weekend was a busy one full of family and fun. On Saturday, I got up early to meet my parents so we could all drive down to South Jordan for my nephew, McCrae's rugby game. McCrae and his brother Austin live in St. George with their mom and I miss them so much so any chance to see them, I will take. McCrae has really been loving rugby. My mom and I worry a little about him getting injured, since they don't wear pads and it can get kind of rough,of  but he likes it and fingers crossed so far no injuries. Now, rugby even though I saw some it played when I was in Australia, I still don't get all the rules. The other team that they played had a really loud cheering section and even though I didn't know what I was cheering and yelling for, I decided to show support to McCrae and his team by yelling too. My dad wasn't real thrilled about me being noisy and kept telling me to stop since I didn't know what I was talking about. This is his second game I have been to so I have picked up a few things. The players can only pass backward or to the side or it's an illegal pass. There are several different ways to score. Anyway, I joked that we all needed the book "Rugby for Dummies" so we could figure it out. I did find this very helpful video on youtube that helps explain some of the basic rules so if you are really that curious, you can watch:

McCrae plays more of a defensive role and is the one doing a lot of tackling. He is also the jumper in a lineout (what I call the cheerleader pose) since he is so tall. He played really well and his team won and is headed to the state playoffs next week at the University of Utah. It was great to see him and Austin. I love them so much. McCrae is such a sweetie. He made all his grandma's a braided bracelet for Mother's Day and he made one for me too. He is so thoughtful. What great kids they are!

After we got back home from the game, Andre and Kendyl came over to my parent's house since my sister and Wes were going to a friend's surprise party. So I played with the kids, then we went to the Tremonton Fire Department's Steak Fry that they do every year as a fundraiser. They had strawberry shortcake for dessert and Kendyl loves strawberries and she had two helpings and then licked her bowl clean when she was done. I wish I had gotten a picture of that :). Then I had to go back home and do my chores for the week. So tired when I was done.

The next day was Mother's Day and Andre had his guitar recital. He was very excited about it and not nervous at all. After church, I headed over to Tremonton had dinner with my family and then we went to Andre's recital. He played Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead or Alive" and even though the song is harder than his skill level, he did a great job. We were all so proud of him. Kendyl stole my camera and got some really good pictures of him and everyone. I think she might take after her mama and be a photographer one day. It was a great weekend even though it was so busy. Here are some of the pictures taken from the weekend:

McCrae is number 17. One of the tall ones with skinny legs :).
This was them getting ready for the lineout or what I call the cheerleader.
McCrae is the one being lifted in the back.




Doing some tackling.
and shoving.

This is a scrum (see the instructional video if you want to know what it is)
His team celebrating their win.

My mom called this a gentleman's game since they all bow to the crowd after the game. I think it's still kind of too rough to be called that. But it is cool to see them all bow together.
Me and my Austi-poo. Love that face!
They look like proud grandparents don't you think :)
This kid grows more every time I see him. Look at him tower over me. Seriously it was just yesterday that he was barely to my knees...
I think they have the same smile. Definitely cut from the same cloth.
Probably my favorite picture. I captured a sweet moment with the two of them.
Andre just before his performance.
Kendyl took these next few pictures.

These two look alike too.
Andre and I. He just got glasses, doesn't he look cute in them :).
 My silly girl!
Love her!

video
Andre's performance of "Wanted Dead or Alive".

I sure love my family and feel very blessed to have them in my life. Love you all!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Regret

I know it has been awhile since I posted last. Honestly, I haven't had a whole lot to say. My allergies are kicking my butt this year, worse than any other year and making me sick all the time. It's all I can do to just keep going. Hopefully soon I will be approved for the asthma shot (since I failed all the tests that I needed to in order to qualify) and then a few months of that shot and I will be ready to start the allergy shots. Yes, shots plural because I am going to need at least 3 every week until I hit my maintenance dose. It doesn't sound fun, but it sure beats being sick.

So enough of the excuses, today I wanted to talk about regret. It has been something I have been thinking about since I woke up this morning. Last night, I had very vivid dreams which involved me in situations I have had in my life. But in my dreams, all the mistakes I made, the choices I regret, the things I said that I regret, I chose differently and it was interesting how I kept hoping things would turn out differently. That I could somehow make up for so many things that I had regret for. Almost like one of those "Choose Your Own Adventure" books that we all use to read as kids. I was the kind of person that would choose and then if I didn't like how things were going, I would go back and choose the other option. I think sometimes I wish life had a go back option. Where you fix the things you regret most. You do it differently. Regret isn't good. I know this. It can be like a cancer to your soul and prevent you from growing and learning. I know we can't go back and change things or react differently. I know I wish I could. I think we all do sometimes. It would stop our growth though from learning from our mistakes. I am just grateful that my alarm woke me up this morning before I could see in my dream if doing things differently might have alter my life in some way. It is probably less painful not knowing "what could or might have been". My very favorite book, "Tuesdays with Morrie" has some good advice from Morrie himself. He says, "We...need to forgive ourselves...For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened."

This is such a true statement. The field I work in with hospice, I always see many different ways of dying. Some are peaceful, some painful, and some just suffer miserably. But of all those I have seen at the end of their life, the ones with such huge regrets seem to suffer the most. That I believe is because it isn't actual physical anguish that is the most painful, usually the emotional anguish of our regrets, our mistakes, and our fear of whether or not we will be forgiven is what causes the most pain. It is what weights on our soul and what we take with us from this life. The physical pain we leave in this world, but that emotionally can follow us into the eternities.

I know I have made a lot of mistakes in my life. Some I worry may have changed the way my life was meant to be, but I have to let go of any regret from those mistakes. If I don't let go of it, it will consume me. We all have to learn how to forgive the hardest person in the world to forgive and that is ourselves. We have to let go of the "could have, should have, would have" things and learn to be happy and okay with who we have become. I write this for me so that I can read this again on a day when I wake up like I did today and remember to just take a deep breath and let it go, at least until they invent the time machine for me to go back and fix some things :). (Sorry that's the perfectionist in me).