Monday, January 30, 2012


So I should be feeling better after two rounds of antibiotics for my sinus infection, but for some odd reason I am still sick. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the ENT who did my sinus surgery two years ago and hopefully I find out what is the deal. I am seriously going on a month of being sick. Boo, plus I found out on top of all of it I have to have another colposcopy. Double boo! Some day my body will be normal hopefully. Any who enough complaining and back to what I really meant to post.

This weekend since I didn't feel well I played it low key and lazy. Turns out for some reason I had free HBO. I was able to watch some movies that I love like "Life As We Know It", "Say Anything", "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves",  and "Rocky IV". I also watched the new "Clash of the Titans" which I must say I am glad that I didn't pay for. Growing up, I remember watching the original over and over again. My siblings and I loved it. This one was all special effects and totally lame in my opinion. It got me thinking about movies and the remakes that they do. I must say very rarely should they be done. For example, could you imagine someone else other than Audrey Hepburn being in "Breakfast at Tiffany's", someone other than Matthew Broderick being "Ferris Bueller" or any of the "Breakfast Club" kids played by any other actors. It makes me think of Jaden Smith as the "Karate Kid", somebody else as Johnny Castle in "Dirty Dancing". It just doesn't work for me. Now I admit there are sequels that I enjoy and that is different like the Mission Impossibles, the Bourne movies, and even Grease 2. I do think some things should not be messed with though. Movies like "Top Gun", "Pretty in Pink", "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and all the others I have mentioned should just never be redone. I think they always end up disappointing people. I did enjoy the remake of "Footloose", but that was an exception. Not sure if I could go see the "Dirty Dancing" that they are doing. I could maybe be talked into seeing the remake of  "Red Dawn" even though I don't think it will ever be as great as the original. Wolverines!

The point that I am trying to get at is remakes just don't really work for me. I love the originals even if they are old and the special effects are lame compared to today's standards. I was trying to think of some remakes that were as great as the original and I was struggling to think of any. Who has some that worked for you and on the flip side of that what is on your "never should be remade list"? 

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Love and Pain

I have been thinking a lot lately about these two things. I don't know how many of you who read this blog have been watching the show "Once Upon a Time" on ABC. It certainly has an interesting take on the fairytales we all grew up reading. I love the show and the parallels between the "fairytale" and real life. Sunday's episode really has had me contemplating a lot. It was about how Snow White's Prince was suppose to marry another woman, an arranged marriage for the kingdom, but he loved Snow White. The Prince's father told Snow White she had to tell the Prince that she didn't love him or he would kill the Prince. He made this statement, "Love is a disease, and like all diseases it can be vanquished in one of two ways: a cure or death". He then told her that she must break the Prince's heart, lie and say she didn't love him and that would cure him. She did it to save his life and when she did she broke her own heart too. She couldn't take the pain of it. Rumplestilskin had given her a magic potion that he told her if she took it would make her forget and erase all her pain. After she broke her own and the Prince's heart, she was talking with Grumpy one of the seven dwarfs about the potion. Snow White said to him "What if you could erase your pain?" Grumpy's reply is what has stuck with me. He said "I don't want my pain erased. As wretched as it is, I need my pain. It makes me who I am. It makes me Grumpy". Such a profound statement to me. Not many of us can look at our pain this way and say "man I am so glad that hurt me so bad" or "I am so happy I had to experience that profound loss". I work with people everyday who have pain, all kinds of pain some physical, some emotional, and some even spiritual. I don't hear many say that they are so glad for that pain, but I do hear many talk about what they have learned about themselves and others in enduring their pain. Some find peace, some die still looking for it. I see pain everyday, but I also feel it. A part in patriarchal blessing talks about "how I will see things that will cause pain, a special kind of pain, not the physical kind and I will have the power to ease that pain by the things that I believe and the way that I live". I have never thought that I would need to use those skills to cure my own pain. Some days I wake up and think man wouldn't it be nice to forget all the pain I have experienced or have seen others experience. What if we could erase the pain? Would we want to and would we learn what we were put on this earth to learn if we did? I have been struggling a little lately with my own feelings on pain and what that means for me and others.  I have questioned some things in my life and played the "what if" game with myself. The truth is yes somedays I do wish I had a magic potion to erase the pain, but like Snow White the unfortunate side effect of erasing your pain with the potion is that it also makes you forget the love. I truly believe that love is never something that should be forgotten. As cheesy as this might sound I think of the song by Trisha Yearwood, "I would've Loved You Anyway". She says in the song even if she knew her heart would break, she would have loved anyway. To really appreciate love sometimes we have to endure the pain that goes along with it. The Prince's father thought a broken heart would cure his son of the love he felt for Snow White, but it didn't work. He still loved her. I am not sure there is ever a cure for love and I don't believe death takes it away either. Love endures all even the most painful of things. Just like light will always win over darkness, love will always win over the pain. We don't need a potion to do it for us. We just need love.

Monday, January 16, 2012

The Man or Woman in the Glass

Yesterday at church one of the speakers shared this poem and it has had me thinking about a lot of things ever since. I thought it worth sharing.


When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.

For it isn't your father or mother or wife
Who’s judgment upon you must pass;
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

Some people may think your a straight-shootin' chum
And call you a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.

He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end.
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of life
And get pats on your back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass

I feel like sometimes I do cheat that person in the glass. I worry more about what others think of me rather than what I think of myself. I have had experiences in my life when horrible things have been said about me and to me. I know we all have. I have had to take a long hard look at who I am, my behavior, who I believe myself to be, and if that comes across to how others see me. My heart has scars on it, deep ones, and every once in awhile I hear the voices of those who left those scars telling me I am not good enough, not worth it, or I am a bad person. That I deserve to be alone and no one could ever love me. Those words have crippled me emotionally in a lot of ways and for a long time I believed those voices. Sometimes I still do. It is so much easier for me to believe the negative things rather than the positive about myself. But in the end, like the poem says. I can't cheat the woman in the glass. I can't hide who I really am and my behavior from her. I can't pretend to be anything that I am not. I am who I am and though not perfect, I can be happy with the person in the glass. She is someone who is learning from her mistakes and trying to be a better person. I have to learn to call her friend and accept myself, flaws and all, and realize that everyone deserves to be loved. First by ourselves and then by God. "The Lord Looketh on the Heart". He know my intentions despite my many mistakes. He knows me and what I can become if I put my trust in him. He believes in me and because of that I am beginning to believe the positive things more when I look at that woman in the glass.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Recuperating and reflecting...

So 2012 has started out not like I hoped it would. I got sick and it has been a long time since I have felt that terrible. I am still trying to recuperate from it weeks later. I got a nasty sinus infection and the first antiobiotic wasn't working and then I got strep throat on top of it. Draining sinuses + already sore throat + strep = miserable. I missed three days of work in a row which for me doesn't happen much. While sitting at home, it did allow me to think about all of the things I did last year in 2011 and what things I want to do this year. I hope to make this year even better than last. It might be hard to do when I look at some of the fun I had in 2011. So here is me reflecting with some photos of 2011 and some of the highlights of the year. Hope you enjoy looking at them as much as I do:

The VIP experience at the Bon Jovi concert in March. I bought the VIP package which included a backstage tour and dinner and seats on the second row in the pit. My nephew, Andre loves Bon Jovi too and he had just had a birthday so he was my date for the VIP tickets. My mom and sister came with us and they had great seats too. Just a little further back. Here are some of my favorite pictures. I took like 300 and something so it was hard to narrow it down :).
Perhaps a little too excited on the ride down.
Opening act Ryan Star
There's the man!
Waiting for our VIP tour
On stage holding one of Richie's guitars.

Jonny's microphone stand.

 The band saw Andre the only kid in the pit and threw him some guitar picks.
The crew after the concert and a night we will never forget especially Andre!

The trip to Australia was also a major highlight of the year. I know I already blogged some of the things from this trip, but here are a few more pictures from the trip. A once in a lifetime opportunity! 

 My love fern :)


 Yes I am a dork and decided to swing from the vine.

Me and some of college roommates had a little mini roommate reunion (minus a few who couldn't make it). We made a day of it and had some fun together. I took the day off of work and we went to lunch at Elements. If you haven't had their burger and a beverage special at lunch then your missing out. We did some shopping, hung out, laughed a lot, visited campus and the "A", and then had a barbeque at my house. So much fun and we need to do it more often.

 Lots of time hanging out with my munchkins this year. They are some of my favorite people in the world and make me laugh so hard. I hope they know how much I adore my "Aunt Shannon" time. Took all the boys to some Aggie basketball games and Kendyl and I enjoyed some girl time.

This year I also decided to challenge myself and do something I don't really enjoy. I took up running. I am not very good at it because of my asthma, but I know it is good for me to push myself. Bootcamp has been good to encourage me to try and like it more. I did a couple of 5K races this year. My friend Brooke, who is an awesome runner encouraged me the whole way. This is us after the Fish Fight for Life 5K that we ran earlier this year.

Meeting David Cook and Steph and I's trip to Boise was a definite highlight. We need to do stuff like this more often and we both can't wait for our boyfriend, David to come in concert again. I know I already said this when I blogged it before, but he is seriously so nice and funny. I have a wicked crush!

I love spending time in Island Park with my family. My mama and I always have so much fun up there. It is peaceful and serene. There were so many memories of my marriage and relationship with my ex attached to Island Park that it took me awhile after to enjoy it without some of the pain of those memories. It took time, but it is better.  I love Island Park and plan to go up more often this year.

I love spending time with my friends. Cali is one of them that I can go awhile without seeing and we are able to pick up right where we left off. She is such a good friend to me and I am lucky to have her and so many. We had a great day in Park City this summer and road the Alpine slides. Felt like a kid. Then she came up so we could do the Man VS. Mud 5K. We had so much fun on both occasions and will likely need to be repeat both this year.

All in all 2011 was a great year, and despite the first few weeks of 2012 and feeling icky,  I look forward to what it will bring and to it being even better.

It is important to look ahead and move forward.