Sunday, August 28, 2011

The Reacher and The Settler

Well hello blog world! I am sorry that it has taken me so long to update my blog. I will try to do better. I feel like I have a good excuse though since I just got back last Sunday from the most amazing trip to Australia! Seriously a dream come true and one of the best vacations I have ever had! I will have to post some pictures and give you the highlights some time soon!
While on my trip with my friends, Carrie and Emily, we had some interesting conversations to say the least. Some of them with drunk people on the train (Emily and Carrie, insert drunk lady's dirty quote here), Aussies on the street, and some just with each other. There is one conversation that sticks out to me and has left me thinking about it more and more. Carrie and Emily told me about their theory of the The Reacher and The Settler. They explained it me that there is always someone in a relationship that reaches to snag someone way better than anyone would expect them to or better than they deserve and then there is the settler who settles for someone beneath their potential. Now I am not sure if I agree completely with it since I have so many amazing friends that married the most amazing people, but it does have some merit I think in certain situations.. I know there are some people I see and I think how on earth did they end up together? What does he see in her? Or why would she put up with that? Well, one reached and one settled. I tend to think that some of the men and women that settle do it on purpose. They like the control and want to have someone who reached (and knows they did) so that person feels lucky enough to be with the person that they will just bend to the settlers will and like what they like and do what they want. Then it got me thinking do more men or women settle? Interesting thought. Not sure on the answer. I personally prefer to reach and find someone who when I am with them, I want to be a better person and it makes me want to reach higher for both of us. But I do see so many people settling. Maybe it's easier than being alone, I don't know. There are worse things than being alone though. So let me pose this question to all of you, are you a reacher or a settler? Do you believe this theory even has merit? Please let me know what your thoughts are and don't worry you can be honest. Which are you or are you one of those amazing friends I just talked about that married someone just as amazing as you? :)

5 comments:

  1. When we got married there was a lot of talk...everyone thought I settled and Kevin got a steal. It really bugged me. I don't think most people settle but instead I think we (we because I was refereed to as one me them) see or saw these individuals through clean caring eyes like God see's all of us. I knew Kevin's potential even before if did. The best thing about love is it makes you believe the other person is better therefore challenging you to rise to the occasion and better yourself. I believe Kevin is way better and smarter than I am and he gives me hope. Love is not about settling it's about reaching together and improving yourself because your the only one that can and your lover deserves your best. I hope my thoughts help. Good question.

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  2. i can't say i don't believe at all in this theory, but i can say one thing. i have learned more about myself, how i look at the world, what i want in life, and who i want to become by being married to the man i am with. this is not to say i think it is perfect, just perfect for me. in a way we are both reaching AND settling. in no other way can we help each other become the people we need to be.

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  3. Like the post...totally thought provoking. I appreciate that as similar topics have been in my pondering lately. Thank you for posting it.

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  4. Hooray for "How I Met Your Mother" to pose such thought provoking ideas. I thoroughly enjoyed your post. Do I believe it's true? Not really. Just an interesting concept that makes you really think.

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